Griffin’s Feathers
by Toboe Wolf
Summary: A challenge between me and some friends. The first chapter is unedited. The second is the same story but edited. It's just a thing we are doing to see how our writing has improved. A short story about one of Griff's childhood adventures.
1. Griffin’s Feathers: The unedited one

Griffin's Feathers 

The unedited Version

For my little brother

Disclaimer: Read this please. It has some important info. 

Toboe: Well I'm changed this disclaimer. Apparently it was to 'personal' for some little kid. Any way I didn't make this clear before but this is part of a challenge proposed by my freind. We are to find an old piece of work and post it, latter posting the edited and fixed up one after words. I had a little part in here telling you all about how very special these stories were to me but as I said it offended some kid so I got ride of it. Flames are bad children. I know that my other readers are used to it but oh well, I just didn't notice the problem seeing as how she could of just skipped over it. Any way I didn't do anything to this short story. It is in its pure OMG-a-just-turned-13-year-old-wrote-this. Not that it's that good. -sweatdrop- It was actually one my first voluntary stories ever I think (or at lest the only one that survived for so long). I do not own any of these original characters… Oh and that same kid said I stole the name Ironbeck form Brain Jacques... Sorry I didn't mean to but that name belongs to him I guess...And I hope you like it. The true story will be up here soon enough. I was going to post it separately but now I just think I will be posting it as the second chapter so if you want to read my real writing just look up on this later.

* * *

Griffin snuggled agaist his mother Maria. The half-Brightwing half-Siverwing bat started begging his mother, "Tell me about Dad…about when he was a kid." 

"Well," his mother started," as long as you go to bed after. As you know he was born a runt, and Uncle Chinook was **not** your father's friend… in fact they despised each other-."

"Mom! I know all that… tell me something new. PLLLEASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Maria laughed a sweet, kind of tickly laugh, "O.K, let me think… Did I ever tell you about the time…"

---

"And she said he swooped down and-"the young bat was interrupted by a female silverwing who burst through the foliage.

"Hi Griff," she said as she swerved, braked, and roosted beside him, "Whacha doing?"

"Hi Luna! I was telling Skye, Rowan, and Falstaff about a story Mom told me. It is about the time Dad saw his first owl."

"How about we look for an owl?" the adventures Luna suggested.

"I don't know we could get in trouble, or hurt, or-"

"Just leave him Luna. To bad he isn't like his father," Falstaff said and moved closer to Luna.

"He's just a coward," Rowan

"I expected better from Shade's son," Skye said throwing an iced glare his direction.

Luna looked at him, disappointment written all over her face. The young bats turned to leave when Giff changed his mind, Luna's disappointment hurt! "Wait!" He yelled, "I'm in!" Luna's face broke in a wide smile then she frowned, her face screwed up in concentration. "Where do we find an owl? Have you guys seen any about?" Skye, Rowan, and Falstaff shook their heads no. She looked at Griffin and saw he was picking at the tree with his claws. "Griff?" she questioned.

He sighed then said "A few months ago, when I was hunting, I saw the droppings of an owl outside an old barn. It had a large hole on the northern side. I am pretty sure there is an owl living there."

---

"Are we still sure this is a good idea?" Griffin hesitantly asked Luna as they circled the tall oak next to the barn. "Come on Griff," she said with a tint of exasperation,

"You are the one who lead us here."

"I know… but-"

"Then stop winning!"

"I'm not winning!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you-"

They were cut off by Falstaff. "We have found the hole," he whispered. Griff gulped afraid of what was inside. "Griff," Luna said, "I don't think it would hurt us... he could get in big trouble." She then darted down the hole disappearing from sight. Griffin hesitated, and then followed her.

A large leathery wing engulfed him as soon as he entered. He struggled, his mind instantly going to those large cannibal jungle bats.

"Griff!"

"Luna?"

He shook his head free and said, "Luna I thought y-!" He was cut of by an iciy glare from Luna and looked in the direction she was fervently pointing at with her wing.

What he saw made him want to wet himself.

A large male Barn owl was looking straight at them. Its fierce golden eyes blinked once, twice. "Who are you?" It had a deep gruff voice that echoed in the barn.

"I-I-I'm G-G-Griffin, s-sir-r-r."

"A-And I-I'm Lu-una."

"I am Ironbeak."

He looked the two quivering bats over quietly taking in every shiver and stammers they could muster.

"W-W-We're s-sorry s-sir-r!"

The owl chuckled scarring Luna and Griff even more, their hearts accelerating.

"It's ok, I don't like the taste of bat."

"W-Were s-s—What did you say?"

"It's ok, I don't like the taste of bat."

Griffin gulped.

"That means you are not going to eat us?"

"Yes, I am not going to eat you."

Thank you Nocturnia, Griffin prayed.

---

"Luna! Griffin!" three bats yelled as they saw their friends who had disappeared in the owl's barn. Luna and Griffin were each carrying a few feathers… a gift from Ironbeak. They were talking excitingly together.

"I am going to give one to my mother, one to my grandmother, and one to father. I'll keep the rest!"

"Same for me!"

"That was so much fun!"

"I know! Remember we promised to come back, o.k."

"I know. Hey guys! You won't believe what happened to us!"

* * *

Toboe: Well that's the end. For the little brother that hates me now :,( . The edited one will be up soon . 


	2. Griffin’s Feathers: The Edited Version

Griffin's Feathers

The **edited** version

Disclaimer

Toboe: Muahahahaha!! I'm back! I got a lot of criticism for the unedited version -hides in corner-. It made me laugh after I got over the shock of what people were writing. I mean, constructive criticism is great, but half a page of every little detail you did wrong is not exactly a nice feeling… I guess no one bothered to read the fact that that it was um… UNEDTITED!!!! I only said it like… um… five times??? Anyway, I left this sitting on my computer for a few days just cause I wanted to see what else people were going to say. People take _fanfic_ too seriously. I take my original work seriously, but this is just for fun and practice. Anyway, back to the point. I don't own the characters, but apparently the name Ironbeak is from Redwall (?). He isn't based on that character, it just happened… sorry… -confused look- Oops?? Well, I changed the name. What else can I say? Oh, and all to the other people doing this with me: HA! I IMPROVED THIS MUCH IN THREE YEARS!!!! … Anyway, on with the story!!!!

* * *

Griffin shivered and unconsciously moved closer to his mother, Marina. It was chilly out, and the half-Brightwing, half-Silverwing fur still wasn't thick enough to keep out the chill, even though it was thicker than most Silverwings. He pulled his too-long wings in closer to his body and tried to fall asleep, but it was useless. Snuggling up to her he looked up at her with wide, eager eyes.

"Mom, tell me a story about Dad…from when he was a kid. Something no one else knows." Then everyone else would listen to him later. His father was the only reason they ever did. But it didn't matter; he still loved to hear stories about his dad.

"Well," his mother started, Griffin swiveling his little round ears towards her, "As long as you go to bed after. As you know he was born a runt, and Uncle Chinook was not your father's friend- in fact, they despised each other-"

"Mom! I know all that… tell me something new. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease????????????"

Marina laughed a sweet, bell-like laugh. "Okay love, but only one story. You need to go to sleep soon. Let me think… did I ever tell you the story your father told me about the time…"

---

"He swooped down and…" He was sitting at his favorite tree, an old maple. Three other Silverwing newborns hung upside down next to him, watching intently. It was strange being the center of attention for once; often he was left to hunt alone while the others played. He was different than them, and that scared them-or at least that was what he told himself. His fur was longer and was black everywhere except on his chest and back, where it was bright and vibrant. He didn't fly as well as the others; while his wings were thinner and longer, his flight was jerky and abrupt. They, on the other hand, had beautiful black fur that was tinged silver on the edges, and their wings were wider and shorter, so they flew better too. The young bat's story was interrupted by a female Silverwing who burst through the foliage.

"Hi Griff," Luna said as she swerved, braked, and roosted beside him all in one smooth elegant movement, "Whatcha doing?"

Luna was really a graceful flyer. She was also inventive and fun, and always found the time to listen to you. Griffin couldn't help but compare her to Uncle Chinook in the back of his mind. It gave him something to smile at when he was pushed aside for more interesting things.

"Hi Luna! I was just telling Skye, Rowan, and Falstaff about a story Mom told me. It is about the time Dad saw his first owl. See, he swooped down and-"

"How about we look for an owl?" the adventurous Luna suggested. Griffin wished he had never mentioned the owl- he hated these games. The owl game was just ludicrous in his option. The goal was to see who could get the closest to an owl and stand there for ten seconds. In Griffin's option, that was just asking them to eat you.

"I don't know… we could get in trouble, or hurt, or-"

"Just leave him, Luna. Too bad he isn't like his father," Falstaff said, scooting closer to Luna.

"He's just a coward," Rowan remarked with a shrug.

"I expected better from Shade's son," Skye muttered disdainfully, throwing an icy glare his direction. Why were they doing this to him? It's not like they really wanted him around anyway. He just shuffled in distress and stared intently at the bark of the tree. The moonlight created the most interesting shadows in the ridges, and he focused all his attention on it.

Luna looked at him, disappointment written all over her face. The young bats had just dropped off the branch when he made a split-second decision and changed his mind. Luna's disappointment hurt.

Wait! I'm in!" He yelled, awkwardly launching off the branch, beating his long wings hard to catch up. Luna's face broke in a wide smile- but then she frowned, her face screwed up in concentration.

"Where do we find an owl? Have you guys seen any about?" _Yes!_ Griffin silently cheered. _Perfect! I don't look like a coward, but I don't have to do it anymore._ He knew where an owl was- but that was a small detail that was better left unsaid.

Skye, Rowan, and Falstaff shook their heads no. She looked at Griffin but he quickly looked towards the horizon. "Griffin?" she questioned.

"I think the sun is going to rise soon. How about we go back to the tree and watch?"

"Griffin, come on, the sun will be there tomorrow. I promise. Please, have you seen an owl anywhere around?"

He sighed but, when that didn't perturb her, he gloomily told her all he knew.

"A few months ago, when I was hunting, I saw owl pellets outside that old abandoned barn. It had a large hole on the northern side. I am pretty sure there is an owl living there. So now we can go make it angry and further decorate its home. Sounds like _so_ much fun."

---

"Are we still sure this is a good idea?" Griffin hesitantly asked Luna as they circled the old barn.

It was a lonely building. A farmhouse rested a little bit away, but having gone so far into the steps of decay, it was unrecognizable. The barn, however, was made out of sturdier stuff; the walls were of rough grey stone, the roof shingled skillfully- but that didn't stop the forest. Slowly reclaiming the land, a few trees had sprouted in the clearing, getting closer and closer to the edges, and a thick tangle of grass and weeds were gradually hiding the ground underneath from view.

"Come on, Griff," she said with a tint of exasperation as she landed on the roof, holding tightly to the rotting wood with the sharp claws on her wing. Carefully he landed next to her and peered over the eves.

"No owl here, so let's go home. I'm sure our moms are worried by now. It's getting close to dawn."

"You're the one who led us here!"

"I know but-"

"Then stop whining!"

"I'm not whining!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you-"

"We've found a hole," Falstaff whispered as he cut them off, gingerly fluttering down next to Luna and completely ignoring Griffin. Griffin colored at the obvious sign of disrespect. His father would never have been slighted like that! Just watch, he'd prove himself Shade's son once and for all. He swallowed all his fear and scrambled over to the edge of the barn.

"Come on Luna, let's go," he said, very proud of the fact that his voice was steady.

"Griff," she replied, "I don't think it'll hurt us... he could get in big trouble." She then darted into the dark hole, disappearing from sight. Griffin hesitated slightly but, feeling the other newborns' eyes on him, he dived after into the unknown.

---

It was musty and dark inside, and Griffin quickly latched onto a beam. Peering down, he let out a few quick echo burst and was rewarded with a flood of images. Piles of old rotten hay were clumped on the walls, and several rats scurried in and out. The rank odor of fox drifted out as Griffin caught a glimpse of what must be the fox's entrance on the far wall. Small bones littered the floor amidst droppings- Griffin was sure Luna could hear his heart pounding faster.

"Luna," he hissed, and scrambled up on top of the rotten wood, mindful of all the dangerously sharp splinters sticking up. Luna was slumped on top, leaning against the wall. Her chest was heaving up and down as if she had just flown as fast as she could till she dropped.

He cocked his head, "Luna I thought y-"

He was cut off by a wide eyed look from Luna, and the bat turned in the direction she was fervently pointing at with her wing.

What he saw made his heart stop and eyes widen.

A large male Barn owl was looking straight at them. Its fierce black eyes blinked once, twice. His large scaly talons shifted and drew Griffin's attention as the barn owl took a step forward. It cocked its head in puzzlement as it gazed upon the two bats. His feathers were a red brown pattern, alternating between light and dark on his belly and wings, with grey flecks doting everywhere other then his pristine face.

"Who are you?" Its deep, gruff voice echoed in the barn as he thrust his heart shaped face into Griffin's, his dagger-like beak clacking inches from his snout.

"I-I-I'm G-G-Griffin, s-sir-r-r."

The owl turned his ghostly face to Luna.

"A-And I-I'm Lu-una."

"I am Rosen."

He looked the two quivering bats over quietly taking in every shiver and stammers they could muster.

"W-W-We're s-sorry s-sir-r!"

The owl chuckled and ruffled his wings, scaring Luna and Griffin even more, their hearts both accelerating at break-neck paces.

"It's okay, I have already eaten today. Besides, I don't like the taste of bat."

Griffin gulped in relief. He quickly scampered over to Luna, all the time keeping an eye on Rosen, whose pale face made him seem like a ghost in the dark barn.

"That means you're not going to eat us?"

"Yes, I am not going to eat you."

_Thank you Nocturna_, Griffin prayed.

---

"Luna! Griffin!" the three bats yelled as they saw their friends. Luna and Griffin were each carrying a few red feathers, a gift from Rosen. They were talking excitingly together as they flew over the clearing to them.

"I'm going to give one to my mother, one to my grandmother, and save one for when I meet my father. I'll keep the rest for myself, though!"

"Same for me!"

"Remember, we promised to come back, okay."

"I know. Hey guys! You won't believe what happened to us!"

* * *

Toboe: Yeh!! . I hope you all like this. Much better, huh? I have improved sooo much in three years. Doing this really makes you go 'WHOA!' I really suggest everyone does this. But be prepared for LOTS of criticism if you post the unedited one first. That part sucks… -icky face- I also would like to thank my BF Kisa-chan who always looks over my work for me . I loooves you kisa! Anyway see ya'll later! . 


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